Vicky from two years ago would’ve run screaming spent so much time panicking over the idea of being on a podcast that she’d have missed the opportunity altogether.

“Leadership is not for me.”

That’s what I used to think.

In my mind, “real” leaders were assertive (aggressive, even), unapologetically opinionated, always had the answers, and most of all? Never messy. That just wasn’t me.

But over the past year, I’ve learned that leadership doesn’t belong to just one personality type. It’s not about being the loudest or the most impressive in the room. Leadership can manifest in listening deeply, asking thought-provoking questions, and showing up even when you don’t have all the answers.

I used to dream of becoming a leader. Now, I am one.

Fun fact (or cautionary tale):

Six years ago, I almost missed the application deadline for the apprenticeship that launched my tech career. Why? Because I thought I had to fully master Ruby on Rails before I even had the right to apply.

By the time I finished “getting ready,” the position had already closed due to the overwhelming number of applications. Another lesson learned? It never hurts to ask. I had barely missed the deadline, but thanks to some incredibly kind and gracious folks, I was still given a chance. And it changed everything.

Chronic over-preparer, reporting for duty

Professionally, I’ve always felt like I had to show up with everything figured out: the answers, the backup plans, the contingency for the contingency...

But that mindset? It’s paralyzing.

If I’m not 100% sure I’ll succeed, I convince myself not to try at all. And hey, you can’t fail at something you never do… right?

Right?

So, what changed?

When I take a step back and look at the leaders I admire most, one thing stands out: they’re not perfect. In fact, a commonality between them - and one of the traits I most admire about them - is their willingness to admit they’re not perfect.

Rather than coming to every meeting with a prewritten script, they instead ask questions. They open themselves up to possibilities they hadn’t thought of and ideas that are unfamiliar to them. At the end of the day, doesn’t that ultimately deliver better solutions than one person attempting to solve all the problems ahead of time? (Because if you can’t arrive at a meeting with the solution already mapped out, are you even doing anything?)

Leadership doesn’t require perfection. It requires presence and curiosity.

I've learned a lot from The Art of Speaking Up Academy.

If there’s one thing I could say to sum up my takeaways, it’s that messiness is good. Failure is uncomfortable, but it can teach us valuable lessons. However you do it, I encourage you to embrace messiness and discomfort a little bit at a time.

Whether it’s raising your hand to ask a question, speaking up in a meeting, or saying yes to a podcast appearance, leadership is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.

So go ahead. Be a little messy. Try the thing. You’ve got this.

🎧 Wanna hear more? Listen to our episode here!